Acceptance has been somewhat of a strong spot for me in my recovery. I can let most things roll off my back and come to terms with it. Well, lately that hasn't been the case for me. I have been having difficulty with accepting people's reactions and what people say. I understand I will not agree with everything that everyone says, but I have been highly agitated lately and I do not like it. I don't like feeling on edge and unsettled. The hardest part for me is that I don't want to feel this way. I am totally ok with people having different views or even being in different places, mentally or spiritually, however, it is still causing feelings of disruption for me. I also understand that maybe I am not ready for everything I want to be ready for. I uprooted from home, moved an hour or so from my hometown and I accepted it was a good move for me. Still, there are times where I ask myself, "am I doing the right thing?" Part of me is so happy about the new changes and other parts of me get lost in the 'what ifs.' There are things I will never understand and that's ok. There are things I will be curious about and things I will fight, and that's ok too. All that matters and all I can control is my reaction. I will be more accepting because there is only so much I can do and whatever I can do is better than doing nothing.
Today, I will accept the things I cannot change and appreciate the beauty in all the rest.
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